The Phamily Blog

If I told you I was sure I hadn't lost at least five years off of my life this week, I would surely be lying. You can't make this stuff up, folks...you just can't!

I have shared before that Gabby has "issues" with choking. As with a lot of children with Ds, she has a very weak oral tone. I haven't helped matters much by throwing all of her food through the food processor, thus giving her less opportunity to work at chewing. We actually have an appointment set up later this week (I think) to meet up with a feeding therapist. HALLELUJAH!

Anyway, let's get to the root of this lovely ambulance ride...

It was early evening on Sunday. I was watching Gabby scoot around on the kitchen floor. She stumbled upon some brownie crumbs. I saw them there on the floor. They were tiny and I had no issues with her sneaking some in her mouth. All was fine and dandy, and I picked her up and proceeded to make her a bottle. As I sat down on the couch to feed her, she took her first sip and began to cry. I immediately thought the milk was too hot and had burned her. She continued to cry and then began to gag. I recognized immediately that something was in her throat and she was trying her hardest to get it out of there.

Panic began to set in. I have called 911 on two other occasions (or is it 3?) and as she turned red in the face, I picked up the phone and began dialing once more. I tried to remain calm as I scanned through my memory, trying to remember the techniques I had just learned in my CPR class. The 911 operator came on the line as I applied back blows to my tiny girl. Nothing was helping and I was scared out of my mind. My one and only comfort was that she was coughing which is what you want to encourage.

Finally, I could hear the sirens. It seemed like an eternity but they finally turned that corner and I immediately felt better knowing there was help coming. What's comical is that the whole time this was going on, I assumed Nguyen was out in the garage exercising. I thought he would see the flashing lights in our front yard and come running out but he was nowhere to be found. Turns out, he was in the bedroom playing video games the whole time. Oops. He was confused as to why I didn't yell for him, but I truly thought he was outside. Poor guy felt terrible.

Anyhow, the EMT's took a look at Gabby and could tell she was definitely having some trouble and asked me what hospital I would like her taken to. I was a little shocked that we were going anywhere..I thought they would just make sure she passed whatever was in her throat and they would leave. He asked me where her car seat was and proceeded to pull it out of my car. At that point, I went inside and informed my poor husband that I would be leaving in that ambulance that was parked in our driveway. Imagine his bewilderment!

Nguyen followed behind the ambulance and I had the pleasure of accompanying my screaming/gagging/choking/baby. Poor girl was so scared and being restrained in her seat inside of this foreign vehicle was not helping matters. She continued to freak me out as she coughed up a nice wad of bloody mucous. That was fun. The EMT reassured me it was no biggie...she had just irritated her bronchial from coughing so hard and it was "no big deal." I am so glad he was calm because seeing my poor baby with blood flying out of her mouth was terrifying.

Once we were about half way to the hospital, they let me take her out of her seat and hold her. I, of course, had to be restrained to the gurney, but it was fine. She fell asleep shortly after and never made another attempt at coughing again. She had completely worn herself out.

Everything after that was pretty uneventful. They did a chest x-ray just to make sure nothing was in the lungs. All was good but the doctor did tell us to be on the lookout for pneumonia. Apparently if she had swallowed something plastic and it went down into one of her lungs, it could develop into pneumonia even six months down the line. I highly doubt what she swallowed was plastic, but time will tell guess. I honestly think that the little bit of brownie might have been bigger than I thought and once she took her first swig of milk, it became lodged. I'm just so happy everything turned out okay.

I pray that that was our first and last ambulance ride. Why do I doubt that will be the case? Ha!

Last night, my girl developed a lovely little fever with chills. This is another thing that absolutely freaks me out. I wish I could be calm, cool, and collected but seeing your tiny baby so uncomfortable, teeth chattering, and fidgity is worrisome. Am I the only one that panics about febrile seizures? Hypochondriac, I know.

She ended up being fine once the motrin kicked in. She even woke up this morning with some spunk.

Today we were scheduled to have a cardiology check-up but I cancelled this morning. Now it's raining and we're making it a lazy day which is JUST what we all need.

Thanks to Chrystal for always finding the coolest videos and links. I cannot wait for this!

It should air on HBO sometime in October!

Okay, so I hate to say this but lately Gabby is.... well... mean? I shouldn't even say lately, because she has been a pistol ever since I can remember but recently it's been like WHOA. We're working on it though, I swear.

Anyway, that being said...yesterday my girl was being exceptionally nice to Nguyen's mom. So nice, that the first thing that came to mind was for me to go grab my camera. She's not really into anyone other than her most favorite lady in the world me, so this was really something for her to be letting anyone in her "space."

Enjoy the lovefest:

I'm having one of those days where I'm feeling sorry for Gabby and maybe a little sorry for myself too. I hate it when I get like this...It's pointless, stupid, and completely unnecessary. And to be honest, this really doesn't happen that often but when it does, it just sucks.

I'm not sure what set me off but today as I sat at the computer catching up on all of my blog subscriptions, my eyes wandered over to my baby who I thought was contently playing with her puzzles on the floor of the living room. Instead, I focused on a little girl who was diligently trying to stand up, catch her balance, and take a few steps. She would take some steps, fall down, and do it again. And again. And again.

Naturally, this should excite me. Instead I just feel tired and defeated for her. It shouldn't be this hard. She'll be TWO in a few weeks. TWO! No matter how hard I try and take things day by day, it always catches up to me. Always. She's been tackling this new feat for over two months now and it's hard not to wonder if there's something I'm missing...something more I should be doing. I know I do the best I can but really...is my best good enough? Being a parent is hard.

We went out to dinner with some friends last night and had a great time. They brought along their two adorable spunky girls (4 and 1) which I am sure was a bit "eye-opening" for me and may have had something to do with my ho-hum attitude this afternoon. I know it's not their fault that they happen to have a typically developing little girl who is over a year younger than Gabs who is doing SO much more than my baby. And for what it's worth, I had a great time last night and never once was I sad. I definitely noticed things...Like how this little girl was having a full on conversation with me (seriously, what is that about?...Cameron didn't even talk until he was almost THREE!) or how she was chowing down effortlessly on chips and salsa, or how she was climbing and running everywhere and anywhere. I saw it. Only I didn't choose to feel sad about it until today.

I hate that I compare. I'm such a hypocrite. I read blogs CONSTANTLY about the same situations. I should read my own advice. "All babies are different" "She'll do it when she's ready." Blah.Blah.Blah. I know this. Deep in my heart, I know. I just don't care right now. I want to be sad today. My guess is that I'll wake up tomorrow morning, and I'll be back to my happy-go-lucky self. I hope so.

The fact of the matter is that this is normal stuff. I can't expect everyday to be perfect. This is an uphill race I'm in and I'm bound to get tired at some point along the way. Just thought I would keep it real for all of you out there.

I can't remember if I shared this video already but if not:



How cute is that?

Well guess what? The book is almost ready to ship and you can pre-order your signed copy at a special price of $19.95 (regularly $29.95) today if you want by going here: The Other Person Is You. That's not even the coolest part...There is an option there where you can search your local Ds organization and at least $5 from every sale will go directly to the organization of your choosing. I ordered my copy today and chose our local Down Syndrome Information Alliance to direct my support to.

Know what else is pretty rad? Gabby's friend is probably going to be featured in the book! We can't wait to get our copy.

Order yours today if you haven't already!

This morning we had our third visit with the audiologist. It is not uncommon for children with Down syndrome to have problems with their hearing or with reoccurring ear infections. This is why we have been trying to get an accurate reading on Gabby to see whether or not she is hearing properly. So far, the last two audiology appointments have given us inconclusive results.

She passed her newborn screening with flying colors although I sometimes wonder if that was really the case since we weren't aware that she had Ds until she was already a few days old. Did they conduct the test after they knew? It shouldn't make a difference but it seems like they might try to be extra sure they were getting the correct results if they already knew she had a predisposition to such problems. Doesn't matter now I suppose, but still I wonder.

Anyway, last July she had a follow up with the audiologist. They took Gabby and I into a sound-proof room and I sat her on my lap. The audiologist cued different sounds at different decibels on either side of the room. If Gabby looked towards the sounds, that was good but honestly, she was bored with that whole situation and it didn't matter how loud those sounds were...she wasn't about to turn her head in any direction, no matter what!

Obviously I know she can hear. It seems she can hear a pin drop which is why I am constantly tiptoeing around during nap time and getting on Cameron's case every time he makes a sound. Unfortunately, these audiology reports don't agree with me. At that same appointment last year, they stuck tiny little probes in Gabby's ear that were supposed to tell him something (don't ask me what) and that something told him that Gabby may have some fluid in her teeny tiny ears. I kind of brushed that whole appointment off and we decided to reschedule another appointment at a later time. That follow up appointment was last week and guess what? He got the same pesky results. Gabby is responding at about 50 decibels. Optimum response should be around 20 decibels. So, she's not far off but we really need to figure this out.

I still feel pretty strongly that Gabby can hear well but now I am starting to really wonder if I'm wrong. The audiologist told me last week that the next plan of action would be something I would have to think about... We could have an ear specialist have a look at her to see if he/she could see anything in those tiny ears (since not a single soul has been able to thus far) and/or we could have Gabby put under general anesthesia in order to conduct a test in which small devices are placed behind her ears that measure her response to certain sounds (They read her brainwaves, I guess?) I obviously wanted to avoid that so we met with the ear specialist today. She actually was able to see in Gabby's ear which I was just overjoyed with. The bad news is that Gabby does, indeed have some fluid in there. Whether or not it is preventing her from hearing well, we can't really tell.

So...The ear doctor today felt that we could take the "wait and see" approach. We're going to try for another couple of appointments with the audiologist to see if he is getting the same reading. (Keep in mind that when he sticks those little probes in her ears, she has to be restrained and thus, throws a SCREAMING fit which could, in turn, skew her results) This is why we're going to try again a couple of more times. If the results come back the same, we will proceed with tubes. It's really not a big deal, but at this point, I just feel bad for her...anyone is a white coat is a BAD, BAD person. We've really had enough pokes, prods, and hospital visits to last a lifetime, if you ask me! (Did I mention she landed her tiny butt in the ER on Easter so she could get an IV?) So yeah...people in white coats = no bueno.

So those are the current happenings with Miss Gabalicious. It would actually be nice if we do end up having to go the tube route and she does, indeed hear better...That could mean so much in the way if verbalization. Not that she isn't verbal, it's just that she really doesn't have any solid words other than "uh uh" as she shakes her head, or "nuh nuh" (no no). This could lead us down a path of verbal explosiveness. Hmm...maybe I should think this out a little further! :)

A few weekends ago we met up with my cousin at the Nut Tree, about 45 minutes away from where we live. I always knew this place existed but I have no idea why we have never been there until now! It was way too much fun!

Really, it's just a shopping center with super fun play stuff in the middle but something about it was just so much fun. They had those life-size checkers and chess boards, a beautiful carousel, a merry go-round, a train, a teeter-totter (seriously, when's the last time you saw one of those?) and so much more! Cameron was in heaven.

Last year I was so excited to get Cameron signed up for T-ball but registration came and went without me ever realizing it. It's probably a good thing though considering how he did with soccer...

I knew this year would be better though since he is a much more outgoing and confident kid than he was just a year ago. We got out on the field for his very first game and he pretended he didn't even know me. He was so excited to have "teammates" and was quick to start playing catch with anyone who was willing!