more pics from the buddy walk!
9:13 AM 4 Comments »
7/31
I am capable of more than I think I am.
7:00 AM 7 Comments »
6/31
This is something I found somewhere online written by a man with a little girl with Down syndrome. I thought I would share...
I Am Capable Of More Than I Think I Am
by Gregg RogersGregg
Rogers is an English professor at Pennsylvania State University. He spent 10 years as a writer, reporter and editor in New York and Los Angeles. Rogers and his wife host a Web site for other families in their area who have children with Down syndrome:
“I now believe Genevieve is here for everyone. I believe Genevieve is taking over the world, one heart at a time -- beginning with mine.”
"It is trisomy 21. It is Down syndrome." Beyond those words I heard nothing, sitting in the obstetrician's office. The doctor was talking about my unborn daughter, and the results of an amniocentesis. I know there were words after that statement, but I don't remember them. I do remember returning home with my wife and crying on the sofa. I distinctly remember saying, "I don't want this." I didn't want this situation. I didn't want this responsibility. I didn't want to become one of those parents — the parents of a child with a disability.
People told me, "If anyone can handle it, you can." "Easy for you to say," I thought."God never gives you more than you can handle," they reassured me."Really? Then why do people have nervous breakdowns?" "We'll help however we can," they said. "Fine," I thought. "You have the kid with the developmental delay, and I'll help you out."
For months I was terrified. My wife, Lucy, and I now refer to the period of time leading up to my daughter's birth as "The Pit." We barely spoke to each other because we didn't know what to say. We simply suffered through each day, together, but feeling terribly alone. And then Genevieve was born. She spent her first eight days in the neonatal intensive care unit at a regional medical center. On each of those eight days I made the 150-mile round trip to see her, because she was my daughter. I sat in a surgical gown in intensive care, holding her in a tangle of tubes and wires, singing the same songs I had sung to other daughters.On the ninth day, she came home, and I began to realize that my feelings of fear and anxiety had changed in a way that no prenatal screening could ever have predicted.
I now believe Genevieve is here for everyone. I believe Genevieve is taking over the world, one heart at a time — beginning with mine. I believe that what was once our perceived damnation has now become our unexpected salvation.Genevieve recently turned 3 and is doing very well for herself. She runs and climbs on everything and loves to wrestle with her two older sisters and her younger brother. She doesn't have a lot of spoken words yet, although her first full sentence turned out to be, "What's up with that?"She does have over 100 signs that allow her to ask for strawberries, pizza or ice cream, or tell us when she wants to sleep, or play on her computer. She goes to a regular preschool three days a week and seems to know more people around town than I do. I laugh every day because of Genevieve.
On my right wrist, I wear a simple silver chain with three little beads on it. I used to say the three beads signified the third chromosome that results in trisomy 21, Down syndrome. Now when I look at those beads, they simply remind me that I don't ever know as much as I think I do, but I'm always capable of more than I think I am.
Buddy Walk 2008!
8:00 AM 10 Comments »
The 2008 Buddy Walk was a wonderful success! Thanks to friends and family, Gabby's Guardian Angels raised $1420! Because this was our first Buddy Walk and I wasn't sure how it would go, I had set a goal of $500. I should have known our friends and family would nearly triple that goal! Way to go!
I want to thank everyone who came and walked with us, as well as all of you who helped raise money but weren't able to show up. We couldn't have done it without each and every one of you!
It was a great day and the rain actually avoided us, which was nice! We are already excited about next year :)
you know how people always say...
7:53 AM 5 Comments »4/31
"Babies should come with an owner's manual"
????
Well my baby did.
I was chuckling to myself this afternoon
while I was trying to organize all of the business cards of all of the
wonderful people we have met along this journey.
When I brought this beastly binder home from the hospital,
it sat on my kitchen counter for a couple of weeks before I was ready
to actually dive into it.
I can find humor in it now, but I sure didn't five months ago.
I really appreciate all of the hardwork that many volunteers put in to make
these "owner's manuals" for new parents.
It's so nice to be able to look up something in a flash if I ever have a question.
Which I do...frequently.
Anyway, thought someone would get a kick out of it ;)
don't be jealous.
7:00 AM 10 Comments »post 3/31
In a couple of weeks we are going on our first family trip to Monterey. I haven't been since I was really young and Nguyen has never been so I think we are going to have a great time. This is where we're staying!
Since Gabby's birth I have had the pleasure of chatting with several moms of babies with Ds. One of them happens to live right near Monterey, so we are making a weekend of it so we can meet them. I have a feeling Gabby will meet her first lifelong buddy ;)
I am super excited for Cameron to go to the aquarium. I know he will absolutely love it, and so will Nguyen for that matter!
We'll be sure to eat lots of salt water taffy for all of you ;) Be on the lookout for lots of pics soon!
in love with a reality T.V. star...
2:00 PM 11 Comments »
post 2/31
go press pause on my playlist at the bottom so you can enjoy this clip!
and he just happens to be a gay man. So what?
If you have never seen the Bravo reality series Flipping Out, I highly suggest you do! It is my most favorite show right now (well technically, the season has ended, but it will be back next year!)
This man buys real estate in the Southern California area and remodels them, and sells them for a HUGE profit. This is something I think would be SO fun to do! I have always kind of wished I could be an interior designer, and the houses he does really REALLY kindle that fire inside of me! He does AMAZING work. Add that to the fact that he has OCD and he is absolutely, comepletely over the top and ridiculous, and you have a hit show!
I am serious, if you haven't seen it- go watch it on Bravo.com or something : )
Nguyen is always teasing me for having a crush on a gay man. Can't help it. He's perfection, ha!
go press pause on my playlist at the bottom so you can enjoy this clip!
the crazy little signs...
12:00 AM 11 Comments »
WOOHOO! Today is post 1 of 31 for the 31 for 21 campaign! (That's a tongue twister!)
My first post is all about Mother's Intuition. I always knew that intuition was a real thing, but until my pregnancy with Gabby, I had no idea how real it was. Thinking back on it is almost freaky. There were so many signs pointing to the fact that I would have a special needs baby, however discrete they may have been. I have shared these little intuitive experiences with a few people, so if you've heard this before, you're hearing it again :)
When I first found out I was pregnant, I was excited, yet reserved. I had experienced a miscarriage in May of 2006, so I chalked it up to that. I often joked that I was the girl of miniscule chances. Doctors say that once you have seen your baby's heartbeat during an ultrasound, your chances of miscarriage reduce significantly. I HAD seen those heartbeats. TWO in fact. The chances of conceiving twins naturally at my age was 1 in 300. Come to find out, there were THREE babies in there bringing that number to 1 in 8000. We didn't find out about the third until I had miscarried.
1.)So, onto my pregnancy. I had the usual morning sickness and other annoying pregnancy symptoms which should have set my mind at ease. By about thirteen weeks of pregnancy, I felt like something was just not right. I felt fine...it was just this nagging feeling that would not go away. I almost felt doomed.
2.)Most that know me also know that I enjoy reading when I have the time. One of the books I read while pregnant was The Memory Keeper's Daughter. This is an excellent book and if you haven't read it, I HIGHLY suggest you do. Anyway, the story is about a married couple who give birth to twins, one of them being born with Down syndrome. I hate to give the story away, so definitely go out and buy the book and see why this book was so touching.
3.)I love to spend time on the computer chatting with people about random things...cooking, kids, life, etc. I have a very large group of "internet friends." Well, I belonged to a group on babycenter.com of women who were all pregnant and due in May 2008. One mother grabbed my attention in an eerie way. Basically she was pregnant the previous year and had gone on to deliver a baby with Down syndrome. She and her husband made the painful choice to give that baby up for adoption as they just did not think they had the patience to raise a special needs child. They immediately decided to try again and got pregnant right away. This struck a cord with me. I remember washing my hair one night thinking about this woman. I remember thinking "I could NEVER give up my baby for adoption...no matter what." I thought about it often. Now I know why. And for what it's worth...I would never judge anyone that felt the need to make the decision to give their baby up. If anything, I admire those who know they aren't suited for the job and seek to find a better life for their children.
4.)Around 16 weeks of pregnancy, many doctors order blood tests that test for Chromosomal abnormalities. This is called the Alphafetoprotein Test (AFP). For whatever reason, when my doctor asked me if I was giving consent for this test, I declined. I took every other test offered, but this one, I refused. There was no arguing...just a simple, "okay, no problem, just sign on the dotted line." Cool. That VERY same night, while sitting in bed watching tv, I told Nguyen that I had declined the test but was now having second thougts. Really, the only reason I declined it in the first place was because there are false positives that occur very frequently and I didn't want to put myself through unneeded stress. He tried to calm my nerves and said "so just have them do it at your next appointment." Good call...that was the plan. I would just do it at my next appointment in four weeks.
5.)Four weeks later, I am sitting in my doctor's office. I tell her how I had recently declined, but I was having second thoughts and would now like to have that test done. She informed me that we were at the cutoff point for that test but I could technically still do it, but it had to be done today. So I asked her, "Okay, well...what do YOU think? Is it really neccessary?" She looked at me and said "well, let me ask you this...what would you do if it WERE positive?" Hmm...I hadn't really even thought about it. I told her "probably nothing, but it would be nice to be prepared." "Well then I wouldn't worry about it...you're young, you're healthy, and you have already delivered one healthy baby." she told me. "Alright, well, if something were wrong, it would show up on the ultrasound, right?" "Right." she said.
6.)One week later, I had my ultrasound where they confirmed she was still a "she." Everything seemed to go as planned...she never questioned anything, never brought another doctor in to check anything out. I do remember her saying "okay, we're almost done...just gotta get one more measurement of the skin fold of the neck." I knew that measuring the skin fold (Nuchal Translucency Screening) was used to detect Down syndrome and other chromosomal abnormalities as well as congenital heart problems. I remember thinking to myself that she may have been having some issues with that measurement but she remained upbeat and never said anything about it so I wasn't too concerned. I never heard anything after that day which is always a good thing.
7.)The last quirky little thing that set my radar off just a smidge happened when I was about 36 weeks along. We were at a birthday party for the daughter of one of Nguyen's friends. One of the party guests was chatting with Nguyen and I and had obviously noticed I was due to give birth sometime in the VERY near future. Most of you that know Nguyen know that he is very sarcastic, and he is hardly ever serious. Well, the woman had commented about my belly and how we must be so excited, blah, blah, blah. Nguyen then says to her, "eh, well...we're giving the baby up for adoption so were not all that thrilled." The woman just stared at Nguyen with the most blank expression imagineable. So then I had to do what I ALWAYS have to do when Nguyen speaks to someone that doesn't know him well and say, "Oh gosh...he's totally kidding!" Then I usually throw out a really fake giggle and elbow Nguyen in the ribs.
She started chuckling and says "Oh wow! I never know because one time one of my coworkers was pregnant and I was asking her if she was so excited and she said to me "well, I am giving this baby up for adoption." Then she leans over to Nguyen and I and says in a whisper, "her baby was a mongoloid." My stomach turned because I know she had no idea what she said was SO so SO wrong. Nguyen had no idea what "Mongoloid" was so he just kind of nodded his head and said "Ooohhh."
ALL DAY I could not stop thinking about that word. It was so ugly and hurtful. I even mentioned to Nguyen that I was bothered by it and he admitted to me that he had no idea what she was even talking about.
So there you have it. Maybe it doesn't seem weird to other's but it sure seems like something to me. Those were signs folks. My mind knew something was up. I never connected anything, but it was there. Even when Gabby was two days old and I looked at her and thought to myself that she had characteristics of Down syndrome, I still didn't connect it. Of course none of it matters anyway, I just really think intuition is a crazy and powerful tool. Never doubt yourself.
OH- just a little side note...I found out when Gabby was a few days old that the meaning of her name is "God is my strength."
awesome.
My first post is all about Mother's Intuition. I always knew that intuition was a real thing, but until my pregnancy with Gabby, I had no idea how real it was. Thinking back on it is almost freaky. There were so many signs pointing to the fact that I would have a special needs baby, however discrete they may have been. I have shared these little intuitive experiences with a few people, so if you've heard this before, you're hearing it again :)
When I first found out I was pregnant, I was excited, yet reserved. I had experienced a miscarriage in May of 2006, so I chalked it up to that. I often joked that I was the girl of miniscule chances. Doctors say that once you have seen your baby's heartbeat during an ultrasound, your chances of miscarriage reduce significantly. I HAD seen those heartbeats. TWO in fact. The chances of conceiving twins naturally at my age was 1 in 300. Come to find out, there were THREE babies in there bringing that number to 1 in 8000. We didn't find out about the third until I had miscarried.
1.)So, onto my pregnancy. I had the usual morning sickness and other annoying pregnancy symptoms which should have set my mind at ease. By about thirteen weeks of pregnancy, I felt like something was just not right. I felt fine...it was just this nagging feeling that would not go away. I almost felt doomed.
2.)Most that know me also know that I enjoy reading when I have the time. One of the books I read while pregnant was The Memory Keeper's Daughter. This is an excellent book and if you haven't read it, I HIGHLY suggest you do. Anyway, the story is about a married couple who give birth to twins, one of them being born with Down syndrome. I hate to give the story away, so definitely go out and buy the book and see why this book was so touching.
3.)I love to spend time on the computer chatting with people about random things...cooking, kids, life, etc. I have a very large group of "internet friends." Well, I belonged to a group on babycenter.com of women who were all pregnant and due in May 2008. One mother grabbed my attention in an eerie way. Basically she was pregnant the previous year and had gone on to deliver a baby with Down syndrome. She and her husband made the painful choice to give that baby up for adoption as they just did not think they had the patience to raise a special needs child. They immediately decided to try again and got pregnant right away. This struck a cord with me. I remember washing my hair one night thinking about this woman. I remember thinking "I could NEVER give up my baby for adoption...no matter what." I thought about it often. Now I know why. And for what it's worth...I would never judge anyone that felt the need to make the decision to give their baby up. If anything, I admire those who know they aren't suited for the job and seek to find a better life for their children.
4.)Around 16 weeks of pregnancy, many doctors order blood tests that test for Chromosomal abnormalities. This is called the Alphafetoprotein Test (AFP). For whatever reason, when my doctor asked me if I was giving consent for this test, I declined. I took every other test offered, but this one, I refused. There was no arguing...just a simple, "okay, no problem, just sign on the dotted line." Cool. That VERY same night, while sitting in bed watching tv, I told Nguyen that I had declined the test but was now having second thougts. Really, the only reason I declined it in the first place was because there are false positives that occur very frequently and I didn't want to put myself through unneeded stress. He tried to calm my nerves and said "so just have them do it at your next appointment." Good call...that was the plan. I would just do it at my next appointment in four weeks.
5.)Four weeks later, I am sitting in my doctor's office. I tell her how I had recently declined, but I was having second thoughts and would now like to have that test done. She informed me that we were at the cutoff point for that test but I could technically still do it, but it had to be done today. So I asked her, "Okay, well...what do YOU think? Is it really neccessary?" She looked at me and said "well, let me ask you this...what would you do if it WERE positive?" Hmm...I hadn't really even thought about it. I told her "probably nothing, but it would be nice to be prepared." "Well then I wouldn't worry about it...you're young, you're healthy, and you have already delivered one healthy baby." she told me. "Alright, well, if something were wrong, it would show up on the ultrasound, right?" "Right." she said.
6.)One week later, I had my ultrasound where they confirmed she was still a "she." Everything seemed to go as planned...she never questioned anything, never brought another doctor in to check anything out. I do remember her saying "okay, we're almost done...just gotta get one more measurement of the skin fold of the neck." I knew that measuring the skin fold (Nuchal Translucency Screening) was used to detect Down syndrome and other chromosomal abnormalities as well as congenital heart problems. I remember thinking to myself that she may have been having some issues with that measurement but she remained upbeat and never said anything about it so I wasn't too concerned. I never heard anything after that day which is always a good thing.
7.)The last quirky little thing that set my radar off just a smidge happened when I was about 36 weeks along. We were at a birthday party for the daughter of one of Nguyen's friends. One of the party guests was chatting with Nguyen and I and had obviously noticed I was due to give birth sometime in the VERY near future. Most of you that know Nguyen know that he is very sarcastic, and he is hardly ever serious. Well, the woman had commented about my belly and how we must be so excited, blah, blah, blah. Nguyen then says to her, "eh, well...we're giving the baby up for adoption so were not all that thrilled." The woman just stared at Nguyen with the most blank expression imagineable. So then I had to do what I ALWAYS have to do when Nguyen speaks to someone that doesn't know him well and say, "Oh gosh...he's totally kidding!" Then I usually throw out a really fake giggle and elbow Nguyen in the ribs.
She started chuckling and says "Oh wow! I never know because one time one of my coworkers was pregnant and I was asking her if she was so excited and she said to me "well, I am giving this baby up for adoption." Then she leans over to Nguyen and I and says in a whisper, "her baby was a mongoloid." My stomach turned because I know she had no idea what she said was SO so SO wrong. Nguyen had no idea what "Mongoloid" was so he just kind of nodded his head and said "Ooohhh."
ALL DAY I could not stop thinking about that word. It was so ugly and hurtful. I even mentioned to Nguyen that I was bothered by it and he admitted to me that he had no idea what she was even talking about.
So there you have it. Maybe it doesn't seem weird to other's but it sure seems like something to me. Those were signs folks. My mind knew something was up. I never connected anything, but it was there. Even when Gabby was two days old and I looked at her and thought to myself that she had characteristics of Down syndrome, I still didn't connect it. Of course none of it matters anyway, I just really think intuition is a crazy and powerful tool. Never doubt yourself.
OH- just a little side note...I found out when Gabby was a few days old that the meaning of her name is "God is my strength."
awesome.
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