The Phamily Blog

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I am the child who cannot talk. You often pity me; I see it in your eyes. You wonder how much I am aware of--I see that as well. I am aware of much--whether you are happy or sad or fearful, patient or impatient, full of love and desire, or if you are just doing your duty by me. I marvel at your frustration, knowing mine to be far greater, for I cannot express myself or my needs as you do.

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You cannot conceive my isolation, so complete it is at times. I do not gift you with clever conversation, cute remarks to be laughed over and repeated. I do not give you answers to your everyday questions, responses over my well being, sharing my needs, or comments about the world about me. I do not give you rewards as defined by the world's standards--great strides in development that you can credit yourself; I do not give you understanding as you know it.

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What I give you is so much more valuable-- I give you instead opportunities. Opportunities to discover the depth of your character, not mine; the depth of your love, your commitment, your patience, your abilities; the opportunity to explore your spirit more deeply than you imagined possible. I drive you further than you would ever go on your own, working harder, seeking answers to your many questions with no answers. I am the child who cannot talk.

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I am the child who cannot walk. The world seems to pass me by. You see the longing in my eyes to get out of this chair, to run and play like other children. There is much you take for granted. I want the toys on the shelf, I need to go to the bathroom, oh I've dropped my fork again. I am dependent on you in these ways. My gift to you is to make you more aware of your great fortune, your healthy back and legs, your ability to do for yourself. Sometimes people appear not to notice me; I always notice them. I feel not so much envy as desire, desire to stand upright, to put one foot in front of the other, to be independent. I give you awareness. I am the child who cannot walk.

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I am the child who is mentally impaired. I don't learn easily, if you judge me by the world's measuring stick, what I do know is infinite joy in simple things. I am not burdened as you are with the strife's and conflicts of a more complicated life. My gift to you is to grant you the freedom to enjoy things as a child, to teach you how much your arms around me mean, to give you love. I give you the gift of simplicity. I am the child who is mentally impaired.

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I am the disabled child. I am your teacher. If you allow me, I will teach you what is really important in life. I will give you and teach you unconditional love. I gift you with my innocent trust, my dependency upon you. I teach you about how precious this life is and about not taking things for granted. I teach you about forgetting your own needs and desires and dreams. I teach you giving. Most of all I teach you hope and faith. I am the disabled child.

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-Author Unknown
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Yesterday morning we headed off to the dentist to get the last of Cameron's fillings. He was super-jazzed and excited at the thought of getting a new toy "at Target" if he behaved.
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Cameron bravely hopped onto the dentist's chair and timidly requested that they not raise the seat too high today. They obliged and hooked him up with his headphones and "elephant nose" to help him relax. I noticed that as soon as the gas turned on he started twitching and acting pretty goofy. He seemes a lot more loopy than he was during the previous visit. He was comical to say the least.
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They filled the top cavity and the dentist then told me that the original plan of filling the bottom cavity was going to change. He needed a crown. Ugh. I am just relieved it only cost me about twenty dollars more than the previous estimate.
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He did well and the visit was over in a flash. He complained on the way home and shed a few tears for me which completely broke my heart. He just kept sobbing and saying "but I don't like my silver tooth...it HURTS!" We came home and he had a dose of bubblegum flavored motrin and a bowl of oatmeal and the world was right, once again.

No one.

:)

Really, I knew no one would likely be able to guess exactly what it was Cameron was drawing last week, but I thought y'all would get close! Many of you got the first animal right (an elephant) but no one was able to get both an elephant AND a sea creature (it was a manta ray, by the way) and I would have settled for elephant and dolphin, elephant and whale, etc...

Okay, so another contest for that starbucks card is coming... I'll have to think of something a little easier first, though!