Do all babies go to heaven?
12:37 PM Posted In gabby , open heart surgery 17 Comments »
Well, we're officially two weeks away and my emotions are getting harder and harder to contain. The past three days have proven to me that I am not as strong as I think I am. It can hit me at anytime of day, whether I am folding clothes or driving in my car...I'm scared.
Since Gabby's last appointment with Dr. Riverra I have been thinking about things I really don't want to think about. Unfortunately, my mind goes there without my permission. No mother ever wants to think of her baby possibly dying but when that same mother thinks about the procedures that are about to unfold- about how her baby's heart will be stopped and have to be shocked back to life- death may cross her mind. And it sucks. Bad.
I was going to go into a deep thought process about religion here but I deleted it because you know...people judge and I don't feel like dealing with that right now. Really, I just wanted to get my thoughts out.
Be scared with me, but please continue to pray and/or think good thoughts for my girl.
Two weeks.
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17 comments:
I completely understand your fear, Sheree. I'm praying for the doctors, for you and Nguyen and most of all for the princess herself. ((HUGS))
They do but Gabby won't be visiting there anytime soon! I know all too well how you are feeling, First with Mac and her countless surgeries and now with Soli and her heart surgery and then her surgery last week. I would love to be able to tell yo not to worry but we know that will never happen. So I will tell you to be strong, Gabby is. I will also tell you to pray. Also to cry. It is not fair what our babies have to go through ask any mother of a SN kid but they are tough and God hand picked us. We do not know why we were choosen for these special babies but we were and remember this is all in HIS plan even though it is so not in ours.
I've worked in hospitals. I've seen people pass away and I can tell you that yes, all babies go to heaven. My prayers are with you through this very scary time but I hope words of comfort bring strength to your heart. The medical industry is miraculous! I work with doctors every day that do surgeries like Gabby's day in and day out, the advances of modern medicine and the talents of great physicians make this procedure less risky than it was even 10 years ago. All of your feelings are understandable and I hope you lean on your friends and family to bring you courage when you are scared. (((Hugs)))
I can't even imagine what your going through and I pray I will never have to go through something like this, however, I think you are stronger than you think you are. Just your ability to admit vulnerability and fear proves that you are more ready to take this on than you may think. I'm sure nothing will calm you to the point of not worrying about this procedure, all you can do is have faith in Gabby and that your love for her and her love for you will pull you through this. Just know that, with the amount of prayers being sent up for her, that there will not be enough room in the O.R. for all the angels being sent from Heaven to be with her that day. Love you Ree, stay strong!
we are all here for you during the hard time. cant wait to see gabby bouncing around again! <3
Oh I so wish she (and y'all too) didn't have to go through this. Praying for all of you and for a successful, by the books, routine surgery for the princess.
Gabby and your family are in our thoughts and prayers...I know this is a very tough time, but I know Gabby is going to shine through with her strength...You are strong yourself...hang in there and know many are thinking of you all!
I'd be scared too, but that precious baby girl isn't going anywhere!
We're here for you, Sheree. Really. I made sure that we'd be back from vacation in time because I care that much about all of you. Anything you need, you got it.
(((BIG HUGS)))
Oh Sheree, my heart hurts for you! Every time I read what a mom is going through prior to surgery, I kind of go through it all again myself. No words can really give you comfort at a time like this. This will probably be one of the hardest things you've ever gone through. I just want to tell you though...this side of surgery is wonderful! Focus on how much healthier sweet, beautiful Gabby will be after the surgery. She will amaze you...YOU will amaze you! I told myself that this was one/two weeks of Lily's life that we had to go through in order to keep her.
Maybe I'm different than other moms, but I didn't really focus much on all the tubes and wires coming out of Lily. I was SO thankful to be able to touch and see her again that I looked past all of that.
I've already been praying for Gabby and all of you every time I visited your blog and saw the countdown ticker. I am adding all of you to my daily prayers. May God bless you.
Give that sweet girl a big ol' squeeze from Lily and me!!!
My Sheree! Like I said before, I wish I could just hug you!
Surgery is always scary, but this is especially scary surgery...but like the doctor said, he's never lost a patient...which is as much factual reassurance as you can get. You've got so many people thinking of and praying for you guys!
You are strong Sheree and its ok to be scared. I thought of Gabby when I had to hand Evan over to just simply get tubes. I would be scared too, but take comfort that she is in God's hands. We will be praying for her!
Oh, Sheree, my heart is breaking right along with yours. It's hard to imagine. I'll keep you all in my prayers! BTW, babies must go to Heaven... they haven't had time to sin. Big hugs from John Michael, too. :-)
How could you be anything but scared and questioning right now sweetie?? You have my love & prayers for Miss Gabby.
Big hugs Sheree. I'm so sorry you have to go through this pain and worry. Gabby is going to be amazing. We are all so fortunate to be living at a time where we can fix just about anything in the body. I have every confidence in the world that Gabby will get the best of care. Let me know if there is anything we can do for you. We can't wait to see you and your family again soon!
I just found your blog. I want to share that my daughter with Ds had the exact same heart defects as Gabby. She is now 11, and blessedly, surgery is a distant memory. However, I often tell parents that the wait for heart surgery is the worst part. I don't know about you, but my imagination was far far worse than reality was.
My uncle is a heart surgeon and he gave us our second opinion. We were ready to travel to his hospital in Wisconsin for surgery if that was best (we lived in NC at the time). But he said that her surgery is fairly routine--ASD repairs (and VSD, clefted mitral valves and PDAs) make up the bulk of pediatric open heart surgery. It's hard to imagine that OPEN HEART SURGERY on a BABY could be routine, but from a surgeon's point of view, they do it weekly.
I'm sure you can *think* all of the good things--Gabby's older--she didn't need surgery when she was a newborn--she's stronger now--you are better prepared, etc. etc. But that doesn't make the *feelings* of fear and worry go away.
I found it helpful to see pictures of a child in ICU after surgery, so I could prepare. I had one friend tell me that she took pictures because she wanted to be able to explain to her daughter where her scare came from. So I took pictures, thinking that I'd just hate them forever. But, you know, I was wrong. These are some of Hannah's favorite pictures.
If you'd like to see a picture, just email me. Or there is a quick glimpse of one in a montage on my blog-it's labeled "Baby Hannah". Some before and after.
Gabby is strong. She has an agenda, and it involves teaching many people about love and living. She's not going to let a hole (or three) thwart her dreams of becoming an ambassador to the world.
Gary, Sheridan, and I are sending big hugs to Gabby and your whole family. If you need ANYTHING, please please please let me know. I re-arranged my work travel and I will be home the night before Gabby's surgery. If nothing else, we'll be embracing Gabby and your family in spirit.
I wish there was something to say that would ease your mind...our family will be praying for yours and if there is anything we can do, I'm there in a heartbeat.
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