an apology
10:50 PM 13 Comments »
I learned today that when people say "special needs" in regards to kids like Gabby, or children with autism, etc., that many people find it offensive. I guess I feel like a complete boob for not recognizing that all kids have "special needs," but to me it was a polite term and one I used often.
Honestly, there are so many "rules" out there when it comes to referring to kids with...(insert whatever term you wish here) and frankly, I can't keep up with all of them. I get the whole "R" word thing- I definitely feel that sting every time I hear it, but "special needs" has never bothered me.
Anyway, sending out a big "I'm sorry" to the ( special needs what word do I put here?) community. It was never my intention to offend.
Honestly, there are so many "rules" out there when it comes to referring to kids with...(insert whatever term you wish here) and frankly, I can't keep up with all of them. I get the whole "R" word thing- I definitely feel that sting every time I hear it, but "special needs" has never bothered me.
Anyway, sending out a big "I'm sorry" to the (
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13 comments:
what happened?
for the record i thought special needs was the most pc thing to say, what should we be saying?
WTF? Some people get upset about everything. There is nothing wrong with saying special needs. Whatever words you say, it all means the same thing. My child, KayTar, has special developmental and medical needs. My child, KayTar, needs therapy to do things other children do on their own and has to see 8 medical specialists. My child, KayTar, does not conform to developmental standards. My child, KayTar, rocks my face off. Whatev. ;)
Count me in the group that has used the term as well. Sometimes you just need a more identifiying description and I wouldn't know what to use either. Hope someone clues me in and then I'll decide if it's really all that much better than "special needs". :)
I'm not offended :-) I don't think there will ever be a term that makes everyone comfortable for long because over time every new way of saying it becomes laden with preconceived ideas and negativity. That's just the way it is going to be until our kids are fully accepted.
I agree with everyone here, I mean what is one supposed to say? yes our children do have special needs, special only because they require the help of a person with specialisation in this field. My child cannot do the simple things that everyone else does without the specialised training of her therapist, so yes my child has special needs...I really think whoever it was was overreacting a bit. I shall carry on with special needs until a better phrase comes up....
Kayla's 5 and I she goes to a special needs school. How is that offensive? I had a blog post about language the other day. Language does have a place in awareness, but we can't be offended by every little thing that comes out of people's mouths (or keyboards). How often do we say "That's a crazy idea!" Does that offend advocates of the mentally ill? I hear "That's so lame!" often. Does that offend people with a physical disability?
wow, I thought it was PC too. I too have always heard the "R" word far too often b/c of my older brother. Don't worry about it, people will always be offended by stuff that you say, whether it's PC or not. Love ya girl!
I get the idea of one kid being no more special than another, but I'm not offended by the term at all. When there's a suitable alternative made known to me, I'll consider using it.
Okay,hold up here.Just my opinion but .... when the day comes that we,in this community,that have children with,sorry but ... "special needs",start getting on each other for using politically correct verbiage or lack there of, is a very,very sad day.Aren't we here to support each other.Don't we have enough to deal with then catching crap from each other.Sorry ... just my opinion.Should I have kept it to myself.Maybe but seriously.I have SO much more to worry about then this stuff.You do too.Gabby is looking darling as ever by the way!!
Hi there-
I don't think it's offensive, so much as the words we use affect our attitudes. My thinking about the term 'special needs' changed after reading Disability is Natural by Kathie Snow- a good book that really make me take a second look at a lot of my attitudes. Here is a link to a good article by her about the term. See what you think! http://www.jsped.org/Consortium%202009%20Materials/Disability%20Awareness/Eliminate%20the%20label%20of%20special%20needs.pdf
I am a mother with 5 children ranging in age from 20 to 2 months. 4 here on earth and 1 in heaven. 1 healthy and 4 with "special needs". I have been saying "special needs" for 20 years. It means that some of my children require a little bit more "special" attention in certain areas than my child that doesn't!
Another term that I will use is "medically fragile"-but I don't use this as often as the other because sometime our children aren't "medically fragile" they are just "special needs".
Our public schools system calls their program for children with disabilities the "Exceptional Children (EC) Department" which I think can be misleading-granted I think all of our children are Exceptional-(especially when I think about the extra care GOD took with our children)but personally I just think that term brings to mind something else entirely.
It basically comes down to-it is all just a label. At some point in life we are ALL labeled. I would whole lot rather someone call my children "special needs" than one of the other terms that could be used-and I think we all know what those are. People need to stop concentrating on the label and trying to be PC and start concentrating on bringing awareness to how AWESOME our children are-labels and all!
By the way, your Gabby and my Jade could be twins! When I first started reading your blog my 5 year old wanted to know why her baby sister was in a picture with your family.
what the...??? had no idea it was perceived as offensive... and yes, all children are special and have specific needs. but really. c'mon. no offense taken here. I use the term all the time. if anyone has a better alternative I'm all ears, but this seems it might be PC going too far.
I am a little late on this post but I am right there with ya, I use the term all the time, sounds like most do. Don't know the circumstances, but maybe you just came across someone ULTRA sensitive!
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