7:39 PM 5 Comments »
There are many things I have come to believe since the birth of my daughter. I believe that occasionally being different can be the greatest of gifts. I also believe that being different means that some people will judge, discriminate, and offend at your expense. Before the birth of my daughter, it is probably safe to say that I tossed around the word "retard" while joking amongst my friends. Today, I shudder at the thought of that word ever leaving my lips. It is unfortunate that it took having to experience heartbreak in order for me to understand how the use of that word could be hateful, discriminating and offensive. I believe the term "Retard" is a hate word and should be removed from everyones vocabulary.
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What's in a word? For many, a word doesn't mean much. To me, as well as many other people directly and indirectly affected by a mental disability, a word can mean sadness, depression, failure, rejection, and heartache. When I hear the word "retard" used as slang, I feel an immediate pang of heartache. I hurt for my daughter. I hurt because I know this is only the beginning. It is painful to accept that people are too stubborn and inconsiderate to change their vocabulary, but I know this is a pain I will hold forever in my heart...so accept, I must. "You're acting like a retard," or "how retarded" are phrases I hear almost daily when out at the grocery store, or the mall, or the park. If the people who use that word felt the same sadness and pain that I feel when I hear them say it, I wonder if they would ever use the term "retard" in that context again. The optimistic side of me would like to believe they would eliminate the word from their vocabulary while the pessimistic side of me knows that word will never disappear from their casual vocabularies.
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Today, my daughter is sixteen months old and laughs and giggles if you look at her. When my daughter is sixteen years old she will have experienced more judgement, prejudice, and inequality than most of the rest of us in this world. Will she still laugh and giggle when I look at her then? Or will the pain she has had to endure due to the ignorance of society be more than she can bear for an innocent little girl?
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What's in a word? My daughter's future lies within a word. So long as the term "retard" is used as slang, my daughter will be ridiculed, discriminated against, and degraded. I believe society can change it's ignorant ways. I believe people can become educated on the use of hate words and their affects if they try. Most importantly, I have to believe that this word will not predict my daughter's future and that she will lead the way in assuring that hate words are a thing of the past. This I believe.
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5 comments:
Amen sister :)
This way you wrote this is so beaufiful. It really expresses why as mothers we can't stand the use of this word. If more people had the opportunity to read something like this post..I bet a lot of them would change their minds on words that they use.
so i can tend to be a pessamistic person, a quality I really want to change about myself... I always imagine myself in your situation and wonder how I would handle all the struggles you have had to endure since Gabby was born. I guess my question to you is- when it comes to having a daughter with DS- would you consider the glass half full or half empty? and how do you keep your family positive about the future?
Well said sweety. I can say I have used the "R" before not trying to be degrading to others, just something I used to say. I am now much more aware of the word and I honestly try not to use the word anymore and I don't let Craig say the word either. So you see you are educating people and maybe someday no one will use the word.
Love you,
Aunt Nutty
I REALLY HOPE YOU DID NOT WATCH CHELSEY LATLEY THE OTHER NIGHT. THEY HAD A WHOLE CONVERSATION ABOUT PPL WITH DS AND USED THE WORD "RETARD" A BILLION TIMES. I THOUGHT ABOUT YOU THE WHOLE TIME.
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